Sunday, May 1, 2016

Project 52: Shot 15

Your Spouse/Significant Other: How You Think of Them (sic) (April 30, 2016)

When you see my boyfriend for the first time, I know what you're thinking. The media and movies have been shaping your thinking about men who look like him for years. I hope this shot changes that.

With his dark skin and sunglasses, I am sure my boyfriend looks unfriendly. The type of person you wouldn't want in your neighborhood. The type of person you picture when listening to dedications on the Art Laboe show. The type of person Trump seems to think all Mexicans are. Look at what he's wearing though: the shirt of an alternative rock band. Now look at what he's doing: grilling barbecue chicken on an RVQ.

I think of my significant other as my opposite match. He and I have had similar experiences growing up in this country where people think they know you once they see the shade of your skin. You look at him and assume he knows Spanish; you look at me and assume I don't. I used to like dopey-looking white boys until I found this man whose background has been full of experiences both similar and opposite to mine. He has an RV (something I equate with old white men) and yet drinks the same beer that my dad does. I find that comforting. While I talk and overthink, he is quiet and thoughtful. I find that inspiring.

My significant other is a strong partner and dependable teammate. The picture indicates he is capable of feeding me, but what it doesn't show is how supportive he has been of me and all the things I've gone through during our time together, starting with my cousin's suicide the day after our first date. I've never wanted someone to take care of me: I've wanted someone strong enough to be able to take care of me if I ever needed it. Back when I was dating, my dad would tell me I was too picky; my mom, not to settle.  I am so glad I listened to my mom on this one. As a result, I found someone worthy of being with me. Someone who is as strong as I imagine myself to be. Someone whose actions show me more than words could ever tell.

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