Thoughts and Shots: November 12, 2017

It has been over 3 years since I marched in the Hollywood Me Too Survivors March. I vividly remember staying up late the night before Googling how to take photos at a protest/march and fueled by a mix of excitement and energy as the night wore on. A lot has happened since then and this past summer I stumbled across the photos in Lightroom. I didn't have time to edit them at that particular moment but I distinctly remember feeling a rush of emotions as I scrolled through them. On the day of the march itself, I recall my emotions being just below the surface and focusing on taking photos was a welcome distraction. Viewing everything through my viewfinder allowed me to minimize my own emotions in the same way that the images and scenes before me were reduced in size and seemingly taken from a safe distance despite my proximity to them. My camera helped me keep my emotions at bay that day but as I viewed the shots 3 years later, there was no escaping the emotional waves that came rolling in. 

Once I finally had the chance to sit down and edit my photos, I was able to revisit and process some of my emotions. As I navigated them, I did my best to stay focused on using the workflow of rating, editing, picking, etc. that I have slowly been developing over time. I have watched enough Lightroom tutorials to now have a basic understanding of what it can do but it is only as I work on the final revisions of this post that I realize I should have started with that before I even rated my first photo. If you don't start with that understanding, knowing what all the sliders and buttons can do seems pointless. As I reflect on this editing session, a desire to convey the energy and emotions of that day seems to be what was driving me subconsciously. I believe it was right there below the surface in the same way that my emotions were that day in November. My edits for these photos were mainly using Auto Tone and cropping them. Was it that I didn't know what else to do with them? Or was that enough to enhance them while preserving their emotional rawness? Maybe it was a little of both, but the next time I edit photos, I will be more intentional as I think about my desired visual outcomes before selecting any photos.  

The sky was gray that day and so I didn't have my usual measurement of knowing whether or not my shots were on track in terms of exposure. To be honest, there were very few shots that even showed the sky. The shot below is one of the few that did and I wonder how different it would have been with a blue sky in the left corner behind the palm trees. Nevertheless, I like this shot for a number of reasons: the message on the sign, the distinctly So Cal palm trees amid the buildings, and the variety of directions people are facing. I think that last part especially speaks to our perspectives and our attention spans and the constant barrage of messages that surrounds us. I was curious to see how the shot would look in black and white. I think I like it better without color for two reasons: 1) it looks more timeless (that's part of the effect of black and white, I know) and 2) I think it brings the focus to the sign and the message which really is what I like the most about the shot to begin with.

 

I developed the photos below in black and white for similar reasons. I debated cropping the pedestrian sign but then I would have lost the women in the bottom left. Looking back now, it's hard to see them so maybe black and white wasn't the best option for this one. In the other shot, the young lady's sign was on cardboard so it lost some of its pop when I made it black and white. I was hoping that doing so would bring the focus on her. I'm not entirely convinced that black and white was the right call for this one either but at least now I have some things to consider the next time I'm in the Develop module with my mouse hovering over black and white. 

 

I have also learned you can rename your exports based on the folder you move them into and I did that for the 7 photos I exported initially. I say "initially" because I forgot that I had meant to turn some into black and white. As a result of this, I ended up having to make sure that I started my second set of exports at the right number or else I'm pretty sure I would have overwritten some of my previous images. Again, something I need to consider (and write down!) at the start of my next editing session.

As I took photos, I didn't really have time to read all the signs closely. Especially this one:

I don't know what compelled me to take this shot. Based on its position in my Filmstrip and the people in the background, I must have taken it before we started marching. It was only when I sat down to edit my photos that I finally read the entire sign. I was saddened to see that a show I loved in my youth had been an unwelcoming environment for a fellow Latina. After Googling Vanessa Marquez, I learned that she was also Ana (the nerdy girl) in Stand and Deliver, and I was heartbroken to find out what happened to her. I don't know who this woman is, but stoic and strong, she stood for Vanessa that day. Knowing what I know about the protocol for being "awarded" a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I doubt Vanessa will ever have one, but on the morning of November 12th, 2017, part of her story was told nonetheless.

As I mentioned before, I hid behind my camera that day. I wasn't prepared to fully confront my own feelings and things moved so quickly that there was really no time to notice all the emotions of that morning. The camera caught them though. It was only when I was editing that I noticed this photo:

I don't know who this woman is or what exactly led up to this, but I caught this moment of deep emotions. A part of me feels badly for having captured something so intimate and personal--especially when I was intentionally keeping myself from engaging emotionally. I remember some of the chants from that day and there was one in particular that I remember desperately wanting to say, but fear held me back. Voicing those words would have resulted with me being emotionally swept away and I was scared to lose it on a street in Hollywood. 

I see now that my camera was both a life preserver and an anchor that day. 

The photo below was almost the mother from Titanic. I don't really remember any of the other speakers from that day and she was probably the most high profile celebrity to speak. As I went through my shots, I discovered that I had some of Tarana Burke, the founder of the Me Too movement, and I knew that I needed to share one of those instead. 

The setup of all my shots was essentially the same, but I ultimately liked this one the best for a number of reasons. I have seen other photos from that day where the backdrop fills the space behind her, but I like mine better because it shows the true odds of what we're up against. Our voices that day were competing with (and maybe even drowned out by) all the signs and symbols of Hollywood and the movie/media industry. No matter what we said that morning, money spoke--and continues to speak--louder. I like to think my shot captures this. The true background is an iconic movie marquee, a reminder of how fake much of what we see on screens is. I also like how prominent the woman in the foreground is. She serves as a visual warning: young women are watching. Back then, it felt like no one was listening, but I have to hope and believe that things are changing. After all, three years later, I'm now a boy mom who is about to watch the first female vice-president be inaugurated. 

Do I think I have any iconic photos? Nope. Was I hoping that I would take one? Absolutely. I would be lying if I tried to deny that I wanted to walk away with one shot that encapsulated everything--from the energy to the emotion--from that day. Looking back now, maybe that was never possible. I hope that, at the very least, I've captured and conveyed a small sense of what it was like to be there in November of 2017. I've grown and changed immensely since that day, and I'm truly glad that so much time elapsed between the time that I shot and edited the photos. I firmly believe that 2021 Monica was able to edit and appreciate the shots in a way that 2017 Monica would not have been able to do. Please know that the photos I included here are just a small representation of the different signs, messages, and, ultimately, stories that were present that day. The image below captures what I hope was a cathartic moment for one of my fellow marchers: 

My own catharsis was years in the making, but it started on that day.

Thoughts and Shots: June 28, 2016

Yesterday, I went to the La Brea Tar Pits and despite the fact that I took my camera, I only took 11 shots. I am still really self-conscious about taking out my camera and shooting. I think I need to grow a pair of balls the size of this Columbian mammoth:

I love this shot. It was the first one I took and I consider it my best one of the day. I like the shape of the tusks and how I managed to shoot through them. It's what I was attempting to do in my Shoot Through Something shot for my Project 52.

There are two things I remember about my previous trip to the Tar Pits during elementary school: 1) how hard it would be to pull myself out of tar and 2) these mammoths outside:

My original shot of this iconic scene felt too trite initially.  I tried to make my own statement with the editing by cropping out the male. I learned that males wouldn't even spend time with the herd except when mating. That really resonated with me so I decided to have the focal points be the female trapped in the tar and her baby. Take a closer look at her baby. (Click on the photo to make it bigger. Go ahead. I'll wait.) Look at that anguish as he (or she!) calls out. Now look at the male again. Look at how the imminent danger doesn't really seem to register with him. That's why I cropped most of his ass out.

The day was hazy so I wasn't able to capture as much blue sky as I would have liked in this shot:

Now, I know you're not supposed to have your subjects centered because it makes your picture less interesting, BUT I'm pretty sure you're allowed to break that rule occasionally. Plus when I was editing, I found a crop overlay that was a more narrow version of the rule of thirds. The trees lined up fairly perfectly so I think it works. 

I feel like I'm starting to get a little better at editing in Lightroom. One of the things I'm having a hard time with though is making more than one version of a photo. For example, take my first shot in this post: I edited it, exported it, and shared it on Facebook. Then I decided I wanted it in black and white for my staircase photo display. You can't really make "copies" of photos in Lr (or maybe you can and I just don't know how) so I ended up looking at the history of my edits and going back to before I applied the filter. I then applied a black and white filter and exported it again. Is this the right way to do this? I don't know. Should I stop worrying about the "right way" to do things? Probably.

I guess it helps to think of my photos in Lightroom as drafts, perpetual rough drafts that are only final when I export them. And even then, they can always be reworked and exported again. I guess it's like writing. When I think of it that way, it starts to make sense.

[Update: I just learned how to make a photo black and white in Lightroom without any filters. I don't know if doing that first would have had any kind of an impact on the mammoth shot or my Dynamic Black and White shot though. Oh well. The more I learn, the less I know, right?] 

Thoughts and Shots: May 12, 2016

Google Keep reminds me every week that I'm working on a Project 52. My heavy purse reminds me that at any moment I can pull out my camera and be a shot closer to being a better photographer. That said, it's hard to pull it out and take shots for a number of reasons. If nothing else, this challenge may help me care a little less about what others think, and that's a step in the right direction for me.

This past week I went to Acerogami in Downtown Pomona for an Insecure Alex show. Another set of musicians that I really like, Jook and Pro, were going to open up for them and I figured it would be a good opportunity to just take some shots. I decided to commit to nothing but my ID, debit card, phone, lip gloss, and camera. More importantly, I decided not to worry about what people might think of me as I weaved in and out of them taking pictures. I ended up with nearly 150 shots and a chance to practice some editing.

Unfortunately, everything I know how to do in Lightroom has either come from watching someone do a quick editing demo at a workshop or googling "how do I _____ in lightroom?" I know the basics of composition and exposure. I also know there are LOTS of things you can do in Lightroom. The problem is I don't know what all those things are or why I would want to do them. So I started by adjusting my photos using the overlay tool and cropping them to be 5 x 7.

The venue was dark and the stage light colors were constantly changing. I think I ended up with a lot of shots that were underexposed because every time I would hit Auto Tone, the exposure would be increased. At first I found myself wanting to do that for every shot, but the more I worked, the more I noticed they lost some of their "effect." I don't even know what that effect was, mind you, I just knew that it was important to fight the urge to simply hit Auto Tone. I tried to manually adjust the exposure myself on some shots, but I noticed that the photos ended up grainier when I did that. The more I worked, the more I decided that the darkness and shadows worked. The following 2 shots were the only ones I didn't edit beyond cropping:

 

That said, I do think either Auto Tone or my own adjustments improved some shots:

 

I also played around with making some shots black and white--not because I knew what I was doing, but simply because I thought they looked cool:

  

  

 

As I look back at the photos (these and others--all of which I will post on Facebook), I realize that a lot of the ones I liked tended to be dramatic. On this particular night, I was able to capture some of the passion and drama that I love about live music and I'm hopeful that I can capture other emotions and moments throughout the year--as long as I pull my camera out of my purse, of course.

Thoughts and Shots: August 15, 2015

About three months ago, I attended a Photography 101 workshop. It was great! I learned how to use my camera and shoot in manual. I took my SLR to Puerto Vallarta over the summer and took some photos, but I had an issue loading them into Lightroom and never really edited them. Recently, I had a chance to walk around locally and shoot some pictures. In the time since both the workshop and my vacation, I've read--and pinned--lots of photography articles and tips. I'm learning that too much reading can be overwhelming though. I've realized that I won't improve my skills, unless I put down my phone/iPad, pick up my camera, and shoot!

I spent a week in a dark house (which I'm sure affected my mood) recovering from gallbladder surgery. My boyfriend insisted on airing me out during the weekend so we hopped on  the train and headed to LA. We went to my alma mater first, then to the Walt Disney Concert Hall and later Hollywood. Finally, we stopped at the Claremont Village before returning home. (No pictures from the Walt Disney Concert Hall made the cut for this blog and I didn't take any pictures in Hollywood.)

I took 165 photos. I thought 49 of them were decent. I chose 21 of those to possibly share on FB, but I haven't yet. (I edited 12 of those.) From those 21, I whittled it down to these photos. I wanted to arrange them in a grid but I guess I'm not very well-versed in HTML. At any rate, here are my top five photos (plus a bonus one because I originally wanted my grid to be even). I guess it worked out because I was able to blog a little before each picture . . .

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Getting around LA is so easy when you "Go Metro." I read some articles on street/city/urban photography while we rode the train in and one suggested using a long exposure to capture public transportation that is coming or going. I had a hard time finding the right exposure length but I ended up liking this one because it has the yellow poles that clearly aren't going anywhere and you can see "through" the train. I'm not exactly sure what's going on here photographically speaking, but I'm proud that I tried something I read about.

I learned ballroom dancing in the building that surrounds the fountain below. (I was constantly being scolded for leading instead of following. Go figure.) I don't think I ever really noticed how pretty the fountain was or the quote along the perimeter of it. In the photo below, I adjusted my aperture because I wanted some bokeh. I used the rule of thirds to put the actual fountain off to the side, and then while I walked away, I started second-guessing myself and wondering if I should have put it in the center. At any rate, I'm pleased that you can see the arches in the background because I wanted some of the architecture to be in the picture too.

I absolutely love the Cinema School building at USC. It wasn't there while I attended but I think it's gorgeous! I took this picture because I wanted to capture the architecture AND have diagonal lines. (After reading the aforementioned articles, I got the sense that lines can make for really good pictures.) I have a 35mm lens and I want a 50mm or 55mm one, but I'm forcing myself to make it work with the lenses I have for now. (The other is a 55-200mm one that I bought for my boyfriend's son's t-ball games.) At any rate, I'm learning that it's okay to cut things off. I'll be taking a 201 workshop later this fall where I'll learn a little more about composing so until then, I'm just shooting first and figuring out what questions to ask later.

I LOVE this next picture. Heritage Hall at USC has been completely remodeled and it is amazing! Before every football game, the drum major marches to the center of the field, stabs the ground and poses like this. I love that it's been incorporated into Heritage Hall and I'm hoping that my sports lens (see above) will help me capture an image of it this season. I did some major editing on Lightroom in this photo. I used a filter to emphasize the cardinal and gold colors and then got rid of some letters by the SC. It says "Hall of Champions" twice around the panel, but I thought the letters that were in the shot would be too distracting. Doing all this, was only a few clicks so it wasn't really that bad. (I haven't formally learned how to use the editing software. I just leave my left hand ready to press Ctrl+Z at all times.)

The commons area at SC was redone (after I graduated, of course) and my favorite part is the staircase they added. The Steps of Troy are more than a staircase though. Unfortunately, I don't have time to wax metaphorically about them. The photo below is the top of the stairs. I tried to compose my shot so that it had movement (read: diagonal lines?). It was hard to get all 5 qualities of a Trojan in the shot, but I'm wondering if I should have gone up a step to make "faithful" a little bigger. Then I would have gotten more of the blank landing though. Or maybe I should have cropped that out while editing. More questions to ask during the 201 workshop, I suppose.

The final picture below was my last shot of the night. To access the eastbound trains at the Claremont Metrolink station, you have to walk across the tracks on a small concrete walkway. I shot a  photo facing east that I liked a little better because you could see a bunch of red lights and only one green light down the track. That spoke to me (must be the English teacher in me), BUT I ended up including this shot facing west because of what I did to take it: I knelt down. On the train tracks. I know that probably doesn't seem very exciting or groundbreaking but nearly all the articles I read that morning mentioned changing your elevation in some way, either getting down or going up to take pictures from different perspectives. Something else I love about that final shot is that it captures where I am at this point with my photography. I know enough to be able to start asking questions about what I don't know. That's a pretty good place to be.