Project 52: Shots 34 - 35

A Fear of Yours (July 30, 2016)

Growing up near Mt. Baldy has made it part of the backdrop of my life. On a handful of occasions when I've been particularly stressed out, I would get in my car and start driving up with the windows down as a way to clear my mind and gain perspective. And when my boyfriend at the time bought a groupon for the ski lifts, I figured it would be nice to actually go up to Mt. Baldy. 

When I actually saw the ski lifts, I realized that I would have the chance to get my fear shot. I knew that my desire to get the shot was going to have to outweigh my fear though. I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of heights. I would say that I am not a fan of heights and even less so when I'm on a ski lift that was built in the '50s and upgraded in the '70s. To get the shot, I had to get my camera out of my backpack without dropping anything. Somehow I did it. 

Looking back now, it probably helped distract me from how rickety the whole set-up seemed, how high off the ground I was, and what could have happened if I fell. I've seen a horror movie involving ski lifts since then and what I didn't know when I took this shot is that the fall probably wouldn't have killed me. It would have just seriously injured me. I'm not sure knowing that would have made me feel better though. 

Growth (July 30, 2016)

Once we actually got to the top of Mr. Baldy, there was really nothing to do except eat and hike. I like doing one of those things. Luckily, while doing the other thing, I saw an opportunity for my growth shot.

It's hard to tell, but that tree on the bottom left is growing out of a rock. Now, I know that it's not growing out of the rock itself. I'm sure that there's a patch of soil somewhere between the mountain and rock crag and that's where the tree is rooted. That just makes it even more amazing though!  While I know that plants are "alive," this was one of the first times that I have ever been impressed with their persistence. (Keep in mind that ever since I watched The Happening I have been known to give some of them  the occasional side eye as well.) 

I wish I could have taken a better picture of this, but it probably would have required some climbing and maneuvering which I was not prepared to do. I had already conquered one fear in riding the ski lifts and I was not about to attempt another. 

Project 52: Shot 33

A Loved One's Greatest Feature (July 23, 2016)

This is now the second time that I have shown Randy cooking on this blog. (Prior to this, he had been the subject of Shot 15.) This shot however focuses on one of my favorite feature of his though: his hands. 

These hands are two years older than mine and have done so much for his family.  I wrote this post  about four years after taking the photo and edited it six months later.  On top of everything he has done prior to even meeting and marrying me, there has been so much else since then.

These hands have held my hands at our weddings. (Both of them). They have transformed our house from an old lady cottage into a ranch house that is more reflective of our shared style and interests. Every week they maintain our front and back yards. In addition to that, these hands have turned our backyard into a place where our boys can go outside and play and develop. These hands roll out the trashcans every week and bring them back in. These hands are adept at making breakfast burritos during the week and much more elaborate breakfasts on weekends. 

Over the course of my pregnancy, his hands held mine during ultrasounds and, then eventually, while I gave birth to our baby. In the time since then, his hands have held our our son and changed diapers. Over time, his hands have helped me feed the baby as he started solids and as I weaned. Most recently, his hands have held our son's as he learns to walk with confidence.

My husband's love language is Acts of Service and his hands are the best representation of that love.

Thoughts and Shots: November 12, 2017

It has been over 3 years since I marched in the Hollywood Me Too Survivors March. I vividly remember staying up late the night before Googling how to take photos at a protest/march and fueled by a mix of excitement and energy as the night wore on. A lot has happened since then and this past summer I stumbled across the photos in Lightroom. I didn't have time to edit them at that particular moment but I distinctly remember feeling a rush of emotions as I scrolled through them. On the day of the march itself, I recall my emotions being just below the surface and focusing on taking photos was a welcome distraction. Viewing everything through my viewfinder allowed me to minimize my own emotions in the same way that the images and scenes before me were reduced in size and seemingly taken from a safe distance despite my proximity to them. My camera helped me keep my emotions at bay that day but as I viewed the shots 3 years later, there was no escaping the emotional waves that came rolling in. 

Once I finally had the chance to sit down and edit my photos, I was able to revisit and process some of my emotions. As I navigated them, I did my best to stay focused on using the workflow of rating, editing, picking, etc. that I have slowly been developing over time. I have watched enough Lightroom tutorials to now have a basic understanding of what it can do but it is only as I work on the final revisions of this post that I realize I should have started with that before I even rated my first photo. If you don't start with that understanding, knowing what all the sliders and buttons can do seems pointless. As I reflect on this editing session, a desire to convey the energy and emotions of that day seems to be what was driving me subconsciously. I believe it was right there below the surface in the same way that my emotions were that day in November. My edits for these photos were mainly using Auto Tone and cropping them. Was it that I didn't know what else to do with them? Or was that enough to enhance them while preserving their emotional rawness? Maybe it was a little of both, but the next time I edit photos, I will be more intentional as I think about my desired visual outcomes before selecting any photos.  

The sky was gray that day and so I didn't have my usual measurement of knowing whether or not my shots were on track in terms of exposure. To be honest, there were very few shots that even showed the sky. The shot below is one of the few that did and I wonder how different it would have been with a blue sky in the left corner behind the palm trees. Nevertheless, I like this shot for a number of reasons: the message on the sign, the distinctly So Cal palm trees amid the buildings, and the variety of directions people are facing. I think that last part especially speaks to our perspectives and our attention spans and the constant barrage of messages that surrounds us. I was curious to see how the shot would look in black and white. I think I like it better without color for two reasons: 1) it looks more timeless (that's part of the effect of black and white, I know) and 2) I think it brings the focus to the sign and the message which really is what I like the most about the shot to begin with.

 

I developed the photos below in black and white for similar reasons. I debated cropping the pedestrian sign but then I would have lost the women in the bottom left. Looking back now, it's hard to see them so maybe black and white wasn't the best option for this one. In the other shot, the young lady's sign was on cardboard so it lost some of its pop when I made it black and white. I was hoping that doing so would bring the focus on her. I'm not entirely convinced that black and white was the right call for this one either but at least now I have some things to consider the next time I'm in the Develop module with my mouse hovering over black and white. 

 

I have also learned you can rename your exports based on the folder you move them into and I did that for the 7 photos I exported initially. I say "initially" because I forgot that I had meant to turn some into black and white. As a result of this, I ended up having to make sure that I started my second set of exports at the right number or else I'm pretty sure I would have overwritten some of my previous images. Again, something I need to consider (and write down!) at the start of my next editing session.

As I took photos, I didn't really have time to read all the signs closely. Especially this one:

I don't know what compelled me to take this shot. Based on its position in my Filmstrip and the people in the background, I must have taken it before we started marching. It was only when I sat down to edit my photos that I finally read the entire sign. I was saddened to see that a show I loved in my youth had been an unwelcoming environment for a fellow Latina. After Googling Vanessa Marquez, I learned that she was also Ana (the nerdy girl) in Stand and Deliver, and I was heartbroken to find out what happened to her. I don't know who this woman is, but stoic and strong, she stood for Vanessa that day. Knowing what I know about the protocol for being "awarded" a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, I doubt Vanessa will ever have one, but on the morning of November 12th, 2017, part of her story was told nonetheless.

As I mentioned before, I hid behind my camera that day. I wasn't prepared to fully confront my own feelings and things moved so quickly that there was really no time to notice all the emotions of that morning. The camera caught them though. It was only when I was editing that I noticed this photo:

I don't know who this woman is or what exactly led up to this, but I caught this moment of deep emotions. A part of me feels badly for having captured something so intimate and personal--especially when I was intentionally keeping myself from engaging emotionally. I remember some of the chants from that day and there was one in particular that I remember desperately wanting to say, but fear held me back. Voicing those words would have resulted with me being emotionally swept away and I was scared to lose it on a street in Hollywood. 

I see now that my camera was both a life preserver and an anchor that day. 

The photo below was almost the mother from Titanic. I don't really remember any of the other speakers from that day and she was probably the most high profile celebrity to speak. As I went through my shots, I discovered that I had some of Tarana Burke, the founder of the Me Too movement, and I knew that I needed to share one of those instead. 

The setup of all my shots was essentially the same, but I ultimately liked this one the best for a number of reasons. I have seen other photos from that day where the backdrop fills the space behind her, but I like mine better because it shows the true odds of what we're up against. Our voices that day were competing with (and maybe even drowned out by) all the signs and symbols of Hollywood and the movie/media industry. No matter what we said that morning, money spoke--and continues to speak--louder. I like to think my shot captures this. The true background is an iconic movie marquee, a reminder of how fake much of what we see on screens is. I also like how prominent the woman in the foreground is. She serves as a visual warning: young women are watching. Back then, it felt like no one was listening, but I have to hope and believe that things are changing. After all, three years later, I'm now a boy mom who is about to watch the first female vice-president be inaugurated. 

Do I think I have any iconic photos? Nope. Was I hoping that I would take one? Absolutely. I would be lying if I tried to deny that I wanted to walk away with one shot that encapsulated everything--from the energy to the emotion--from that day. Looking back now, maybe that was never possible. I hope that, at the very least, I've captured and conveyed a small sense of what it was like to be there in November of 2017. I've grown and changed immensely since that day, and I'm truly glad that so much time elapsed between the time that I shot and edited the photos. I firmly believe that 2021 Monica was able to edit and appreciate the shots in a way that 2017 Monica would not have been able to do. Please know that the photos I included here are just a small representation of the different signs, messages, and, ultimately, stories that were present that day. The image below captures what I hope was a cathartic moment for one of my fellow marchers: 

My own catharsis was years in the making, but it started on that day.

Project 52: Shots 30 - 32

Speed (July 20, 2016)

As I started to write this post, over four years after I took the shot, I didn't remember why I was at Union Station with my camera in July of 2016. I had to search Los Angeles in my Google Photos in the hopes that I had taken some photos with my phone that would help me remember. Sure enough, Randy and I had gone there to watch The Grand Budapest Hotel on top of the Montalban Theater. 

Based on some long exposure shots I took about a year before, I knew that when I shot speed for this challenge, I wanted to do it with a long exposure. This shot may be more motion than speed, but if you've ever been to Union Station, you know that most people there are driven to catch something--some more so than others. If I could go back in time, I would have composed my shot better in order to have the vanishing point be in the actual center. Or I would have paid more attention to that in the editing and cropped it better. At any rate, it just feels good to be working on this project again . . .

A Favorite Element of Your City (July 20, 2016)

When I discovered these shots sitting neatly labeled in my drafts, I knew instantly that this wasn't Rancho Cucamonga. Partly because of the shots that were before and after it, but mostly because Los Angeles remains one of my favorite cities even though I haven't lived there in nearly 20 years. Palm trees against a blue sky are so evocative of Southern California and I love So Cal.

I'm sure I looked like a tourist standing on the corner of Hollywood and Highland to get this shot, but I'm really glad I did because I love that blue sky. When I first learned to shoot in manual, someone told me to make sure that the sky was blue in my shots because no amount of editing could ever bring that back. I have never forgotten that. I keep that tip in mind when shooting outside, and I'm thrilled to see that has paid off. I love the ombre in this shot! Even if I did something in Lightroom to enhance it, the blue sky was there to begin with and I captured it.  

Pattern (July 20, 2016)

Who looks up while "speeding" through Union Station? Apparently, I do. I'm glad I did because I love this photo. I love how I composed (or edited?) it so that everything seems to radiate outward and upward. I love the different lengths of the shapes. I even love how the light decreases as the pattern radiates out. This shot has since become part of my digital footprint. I used Adobe Spark to make it into a header graphic for my professional Twitter account. 

In November of 2015, I bought a set of gallery frames to hang on the wall by my stairs in my condo. It came with super artistic black and white photos, and I remember thinking initially that I would never be able to fill them with photos of my own like that. About two weeks, prior to shooting this, I finally hung some of my own photos in there. I'm proud to say that one of them was from this project and the others were just from other day trips to LA. Most of those have been replaced with family photos (which now need to be updated since our family has grown) but we still have some of the artistic stock photos in two of the frames that are hanging at the end of the hall. As I look back at this photo and some of the others that I have shot, I finally feel like I'm capable of shooting artistic photos of my own.  

Project 52 Work In Progress

 I started my Project 52 back in 2016. As I reflect on when and why I started it and the ways I made it work, I'm excited to get back to it even if it is almost four (4) years later. A lot has changed in my life: I got engaged, sold my condo, moved, got married twice, and had a baby. If you had told me back in 2016 or even 2017, that my camera would sit in my bag for most of these big changes, I probably would have been a little sad and disappointed that I hadn't captured those moments. 

The 2020 me is okay with it though. My self-talk has gotten a lot nicer and I've started to meet and accept myself where I am in so many ways. That is not to say that I won't change anymore. Becoming a wife (again) and a bonus mother changed what I wanted for the future. Progressing through pregnancy and becoming a mother (again) reshaped my life in ways I never imagined for myself. 

As my baby approaches his first birthday and 2020 comes to a maddeningly slow close, I'm hoping to finish this challenge. I am neither the same person nor photographer that I was when I started this project and that's okay. 

Project 52: Shot 29

A Goodbye (July 12, 2016)

If you read this blog post from February, you know that I put Moochie down earlier this year. He was cremated and his ashes were scattered in Point Loma. So when we were in the San Diego area earlier this summer, I wanted to go take some photos of his final resting place and try to get some closure. 

Things didn't start out well. We drove down to some cliffs where the water and waves were crashing and splashing on the rocks. While I love the ocean and admit that this was a spectacular display of its force and power, this was NOT the peaceful resting place that I had envisioned for Moochie. As we moved higher, the sound of the crashing waves diminished but it was replaced by a pretty forceful wind. Again, NOT the image of peace and serenity that I was looking for. 

I actually began to get a little upset at the idea of Moochie--the cat who was fascinated with water until my ex-husband and I tried to give him a bath--being there. It wasn't until we drove a little higher up and climbed two hills that I was finally able to get my shot and find the peace I was looking for. 

What I like about this shot is that you can see the water, but not the waves. I also love the hill and trees. This shot is a little more like what Randy showed me the day we put Moochie down when I asked him what Point Loma was like. Seeing those photos made me feel better about having Moochie's ashes scattered there and taking this shot made me feel the same way.

Project 52: Shots 27 and 28

Tell the Story of a Landscape. Now Put a Person in It. How does the Story Change? (July 3, 2016) 

 

Earlier this summer, the boyfriend and I got in the car and headed for Mt. Baldy. I figured it would be the perfect place to take this set of shots, but I wasn't pleased with any of my landscapes until we pulled off the road and walked (read: slid) down into what I imagine used to be a river or a creek. What I love about the initial "landscape" is that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel created by trees. Once I added the person, the story becomes one of emerging into the light. 

My other attempts at this shot didn't have what I felt were impressive landscapes and then having Randy so close in the foreground lessened the impact  even more. I'm pleased with this final product because the landscape is still telling the story and adding the person doesn't silence or mute it.

Let the Shadows Tell the Story (July 3, 2016)

I have been trying to find shadows that tell a story since May. What I like about these shadows is that they show how the power of light. No matter how tall these trees are, light will always filter through their leaves and illuminate the river or creek that I believe was once here.   

Lego Gone Girly

When I was a little girl, I had--what I believe--was an impressive collection of the Lego Castle system. The bricks were gray and black in--what I imagine--was an attempt to make them look realistic. I LOVED spending an afternoon going through the entire process of building one or more sets. Looking back now, it is possible that I exhibited some OCDish tendencies early on: I would never build a castle until I had first sorted all the bricks. The joy of following the directions to ultimately build the structure was second to the elation I felt after successfully sorting all the bricks into nice, neat, little piles.

In addition to my Castle Lego collection,  I also had a giant blue case that had a random assortment of bricks and people. Basically, I kept all my non-castle Lego sets in there. It was just a hodge-podge mess of green base plates and red, yellow, green, blue, and white bricks. And flowers. (Those Lego flowers really added a little je ne sais quoi to my creations.) 

I have to admit that the first time I saw Lego being marketed to girls, I bristled a little. I didn't need Lego bricks in "girly" colors. Then I saw this:

Initially, I was outraged. Decades of gender-coding have resulted in this Frozen Lego set. Does everything have to be gender-coded? If kids won't play with something because of its color, then there is something wrong with that. And yes, I interpret that as an indicator that we are failing as a society. 

Maybe I'm guilty of it too. For a while I was maintaining two gym bags: A pink one that had my pink and purple gym clothes and a blue one that had my black and blue gym clothes. Each one had Nike tennis shoes that would match everything in the respective bag. In my defense, I never thought of them as my girl and boy bags though. It was just always convenient to work out of one bag each week while washing the clothes in the other. The different-colored bags to match the clothes . . . well, there is a saying that goes "Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world." I say give that girl a matching bag!

That Lego catalog sat on my dining room table for a while and I just kept thinking about it every time I saw it. The more I thought about it though, the more I began to soften and see it differently. I love pink and purple. I didn't as a little girl, but if the woman I am today were a little girl, she would love to have so many colors to choose from in her giant Lego brick. Yes, kids today get to store their Lego bricks in awesome, giant, Lego-shaped boxes. They are so lucky--not just because of their cute, clever storage options, but because they have more colors to choose from when building. As a classroom teacher, I always wanted my kids to have as many options as possible when it came to building their futures. Sadly, I know there is no correlation between the number of Lego color options available and future success. I know that many kids with big dreams today will grow up and still face limited options as they enter adulthood tomorrow. I also know this is especially true for some girls and that breaks my heart.

Today I applaud Lego for what they are doing. "Girls" is now a category on the Lego website. Maybe some cynics out there will see it as a way to increase sales. If pink and purple bricks thrown into the mix, get more girls playing with Lego sets and building, then I'm for it. Why shouldn't a girl have to build her dream house before she plays house? Why should she have to rely on someone (notice I didn't say "man") to give it to her? If building a hair salon inspires a girl to want to run her own business someday, I'm for it. And the White House comes up under the Girls category too. 

Yes! 

If the Frozen set above is the gateway to future building, then I'm for it. Build on, girls. Build on.

Project 52: Shot 26

A Sad Moment You Want to Remember (June 29, 2016)

My grandmother passed away on December 31st, 2015. Those of you who know me well know the role she played in my life and the impact she had on it. We buried her at the beginning of the year and when I started this project, I knew right away that I wanted this shot to somehow be about Mami Tere. I also knew it would probably be my most difficult one--not technically, but emotionally. I haven't been back to her grave since the day we buried her, but I knew I would have to go if I wanted this shot.

I wanted this picture to match the emotion of the moment we buried her, and in my head, I imagined using flowers to create something beautiful and artistic. I chose a small bouquet of roses because Mami Tere would take me to offer flowers to the Virgin Mary when I was a little girl. Unfortunately, one of the first things I noticed when I got to the cemetery is that it didn't look the way I remembered it: the dreariness of that cloudy, winter morning had been replaced by the brightness of a sunny, summer afternoon. As a result, my photos were too bright and too green. My memories of that day are dark and gray so I knew this was going to require some work in Lightroom. My cousin, Alan, had passed along some tips--and I tried them--but I still wasn't getting the effect I wanted. What I wanted was a black and white shot with only the flowers in color. So I Googled it and after watching two videos, this is what I was able to come up with. 

I'm happy with this shot. I feel the black and white captures the sadness of the original moment, and the color represents the love and positive memories that are left behind when someone passes. (Patrick Swayze's words from Ghost in this scene have always brought me comfort regarding that.) There is a good chance I will look back at this shot six months from now and shudder at how bad it is based on my future knowledge and skills, but as I look back at my photos so far, I think it's a good first: my first time knowing how I wanted a shot to ultimately look and being able to achieve that as opposed to just clicking various presets until I find one that makes me say "I think that looks good. I'll do that."

You may or may not have noticed the number of this shot: 26. I'm halfway done with my challenge!

And in case you're wondering where I got the flowers . . . I went to the Urban Florist on Mountain, and I wouldn't include a link if I wasn't happy with their service. =)

Thoughts and Shots: June 28, 2016

Yesterday, I went to the La Brea Tar Pits and despite the fact that I took my camera, I only took 11 shots. I am still really self-conscious about taking out my camera and shooting. I think I need to grow a pair of balls the size of this Columbian mammoth:

I love this shot. It was the first one I took and I consider it my best one of the day. I like the shape of the tusks and how I managed to shoot through them. It's what I was attempting to do in my Shoot Through Something shot for my Project 52.

There are two things I remember about my previous trip to the Tar Pits during elementary school: 1) how hard it would be to pull myself out of tar and 2) these mammoths outside:

My original shot of this iconic scene felt too trite initially.  I tried to make my own statement with the editing by cropping out the male. I learned that males wouldn't even spend time with the herd except when mating. That really resonated with me so I decided to have the focal points be the female trapped in the tar and her baby. Take a closer look at her baby. (Click on the photo to make it bigger. Go ahead. I'll wait.) Look at that anguish as he (or she!) calls out. Now look at the male again. Look at how the imminent danger doesn't really seem to register with him. That's why I cropped most of his ass out.

The day was hazy so I wasn't able to capture as much blue sky as I would have liked in this shot:

Now, I know you're not supposed to have your subjects centered because it makes your picture less interesting, BUT I'm pretty sure you're allowed to break that rule occasionally. Plus when I was editing, I found a crop overlay that was a more narrow version of the rule of thirds. The trees lined up fairly perfectly so I think it works. 

I feel like I'm starting to get a little better at editing in Lightroom. One of the things I'm having a hard time with though is making more than one version of a photo. For example, take my first shot in this post: I edited it, exported it, and shared it on Facebook. Then I decided I wanted it in black and white for my staircase photo display. You can't really make "copies" of photos in Lr (or maybe you can and I just don't know how) so I ended up looking at the history of my edits and going back to before I applied the filter. I then applied a black and white filter and exported it again. Is this the right way to do this? I don't know. Should I stop worrying about the "right way" to do things? Probably.

I guess it helps to think of my photos in Lightroom as drafts, perpetual rough drafts that are only final when I export them. And even then, they can always be reworked and exported again. I guess it's like writing. When I think of it that way, it starts to make sense.

[Update: I just learned how to make a photo black and white in Lightroom without any filters. I don't know if doing that first would have had any kind of an impact on the mammoth shot or my Dynamic Black and White shot though. Oh well. The more I learn, the less I know, right?] 

Project 52: Shots 24-25

Details (June 25, 2016)

My boyfriend and I recently took his son to the Santa Monica pier. We had tickets to see Finding Dory at the El Capitán later that evening, but riding the Expo Line to Santa Monica was a game time decision. Apparently, we were not the only ones who had that idea on this day.

I took this shot from one end of the pier and I'm pleased with how it came out. I used the golden spiral crop overlay when I was editing it which I don't get to use very often so I was excited. I realize there is a lot going on, but I think that's the point.

Dynamic Black and White (June 25, 2016) 

I have been trying to get this shot for a while now. I don't know why it's been so hard. Maybe because it required me to imagine the shot in black and white while taking it in color. Or maybe because it's supposed to be dynamic, but I tend to think of photos as static moments that are frozen in time. Looking back now, maybe dynamic and static aren't mutually exclusive when it comes to photography. 

Seeing the waves crashing along the posts of the pier and the white spray against the darkness of the area underneath made me think this would translate well into black and white. I had some shots without the people and rides but I used this one because I felt they added context to the shot and made it more dynamic. Plus when I was editing it, I used an overlay that had a bunch of triangles and both the waves on the bottom left and rides on the top right lined up where they were supposed to according to the guide.

This is one of the first shots where my finished product is relatively close to what I was imagining in my head before even taking it. 

Project 52: Shot 23

A Treasure (June 12, 2016)

This photo was taken in the desert. People who don't know my girlfriends and me very well think "we're going to the desert" means we're going camping in the middle of a desolate, barren wasteland. Nope. To us, a desert trip means relaxation, food, and shopping.

These trips always begin with charcuterie upon arrival. The treasure in this shot is not the collection of cheese and processed meats you see before you. It is my friendships with the women who consume the aforementioned cheese and meats. The women who let me drive and keep me laughing the whole time. The women who let me indulge my need to eat every three hours. The women who know every store along Highway 111. I have known these women for over a decade now and I plan on keeping them around when I retire. I'm thankful that this photo project allowed me to capture them in this way.

Yes. We love cheese and processed meats. 

Project 52: Shots 21-22

A Tradition (June 2, 2016)

Randy and I seem to have started a tradition of finding places to watch sports while traveling. It started last summer when we discovered El Torito in Puerto Vallarta (no relation to the corporate Mexican restaurant here) and watched UFC 189 and the Home Run Derby there.  The cruise we took this summer continued that tradition when we discovered a bar above our dining room. We were able to watch Game 1 of this year's NBA's Finals and have a few post-dinner drinks since we had chosen the early (read: old people) dinner time.  

Depending on who scored, different sides of the bar would cheer. I don't know if the staff had organized the seating that way on purpose or if the fans had looked for and found their own kind. At any rate, it made for a nice memory of our first night on the cruise. 

I feel I should mention that I felt über-hipster (read: dorky) arranging and taking pictures of our drinks. I'm still working on my I'm-being-artistic-so-don't-bother-me-right-now attitude.

Frame Your Subject (June 3, 2016)

Did you read my Shoot Through Something post? Do you remember how I wanted to create an unusual and artistic shot? I feel like this shot is a little closer to that. That must mean I'm getting better! 

This shot was taken at a restaurant in Ensenada near the Bufadora. Randy and I decided that hiring a taxi would be our best way there. It ended up being about the same price as the ship's excursion but at least we weren't crowded on a bus. Instead, we had someone to talk to and answer our questions. Correction: I had someone to talk to and answer my questions. (I would have asked questions at our muster drill the night before, but someone didn't let me.) Allegedly, this wasn't the Michelada we were looking for, but the food was good and the view was great. I used my words and we were allowed to sit at the top level of the restaurant which allowed me to get this shot.

If you read between the lines of my True Happiness post, you learned that my relationship with Mexico is a little more complex now than it used to be. It felt a little weird to be in Mexico on this particular day. Maybe it was because the entire Bufadora area seems to be a tourist trap. Or maybe it was the brief amount of time we were there. In addition to that, I couldn't get my cell phone to work so I couldn't send my cousins in Aguas a quick message or photo on What'sApp. I felt disconnected and it really didn't feel like Mexico propa' to me.

Project 52: Shot 20

The Everyday (May 17, 2016)

Waze usually sends me home along a different route each day, but on most days, it sends me north on Euclid Avenue. I love those days. Now I'm no civil engineer, but I believe Euclid could be described as a tree-lined, split street with a green belt. I love progress and civilization, but every once in a while, it's nice to drive on a street that doesn't have any strip malls on it. 

During the last week of school, I drove home one day with my moon roof open, and I just happened to glance up while I was stopped at a light. I realized that the view straight up was just as beautiful, but I had never even seen it. I pulled my camera out of my purse, did my best to meter at the next red light and then just took some shots. Straight up.

It probably wasn't the safest thing to do, but I love blue skies with a few clouds! I'm glad I have this shot, and I've already uploaded it to be the background of my Trello board to kick off the upcoming school year.

Thoughts and Shots: May 12, 2016

Google Keep reminds me every week that I'm working on a Project 52. My heavy purse reminds me that at any moment I can pull out my camera and be a shot closer to being a better photographer. That said, it's hard to pull it out and take shots for a number of reasons. If nothing else, this challenge may help me care a little less about what others think, and that's a step in the right direction for me.

This past week I went to Acerogami in Downtown Pomona for an Insecure Alex show. Another set of musicians that I really like, Jook and Pro, were going to open up for them and I figured it would be a good opportunity to just take some shots. I decided to commit to nothing but my ID, debit card, phone, lip gloss, and camera. More importantly, I decided not to worry about what people might think of me as I weaved in and out of them taking pictures. I ended up with nearly 150 shots and a chance to practice some editing.

Unfortunately, everything I know how to do in Lightroom has either come from watching someone do a quick editing demo at a workshop or googling "how do I _____ in lightroom?" I know the basics of composition and exposure. I also know there are LOTS of things you can do in Lightroom. The problem is I don't know what all those things are or why I would want to do them. So I started by adjusting my photos using the overlay tool and cropping them to be 5 x 7.

The venue was dark and the stage light colors were constantly changing. I think I ended up with a lot of shots that were underexposed because every time I would hit Auto Tone, the exposure would be increased. At first I found myself wanting to do that for every shot, but the more I worked, the more I noticed they lost some of their "effect." I don't even know what that effect was, mind you, I just knew that it was important to fight the urge to simply hit Auto Tone. I tried to manually adjust the exposure myself on some shots, but I noticed that the photos ended up grainier when I did that. The more I worked, the more I decided that the darkness and shadows worked. The following 2 shots were the only ones I didn't edit beyond cropping:

 

That said, I do think either Auto Tone or my own adjustments improved some shots:

 

I also played around with making some shots black and white--not because I knew what I was doing, but simply because I thought they looked cool:

  

  

 

As I look back at the photos (these and others--all of which I will post on Facebook), I realize that a lot of the ones I liked tended to be dramatic. On this particular night, I was able to capture some of the passion and drama that I love about live music and I'm hopeful that I can capture other emotions and moments throughout the year--as long as I pull my camera out of my purse, of course.

Project 52: Shots 16-19

Old (May 12, 2016)

If there is one thing I have learned from the death of my grandmother it is that we don't have forever with the people we love. I was painfully reminded of that most recently on Mother's Day and thankful I had the chance to make some memories with Papi Chevy a few days later.  Since Mami Tere's death, he hasn't really left the house for anything other than doctor appointments, so when he asked my dad to take him to a local winery, my sister and I invited ourselves to tag along. While we were wine tasting at the Galleano Winery, Papi Chevy was telling us about when he used to work there and naming people he used to work with and for. The lady serving us was polite while she listened and admitted that she didn't know anyone he named. It made me think about how much my grandfather has seen and experienced--so many memories! And when he goes, they go with him.

Same Subjects, 5 Angles (May 12, 2016)

  

 

The winery had a ton of old equipment just lying around in a field near the vineyards. It looked like it had been there for a while--trust me. I did a Google Images Search on "antique tractors" and I'm pretty sure the tractor above is from the 1940s. My excitement at crossing this off my shot list outweighed my fear of spiders and bugs while I worked my way around it and closer to it. As I look at the images now, I can't help but notice how the sky (when visible) is a slightly different shade of blue in each shot. The same goes for the background. In one, you can see industrial buildings in one, and palm trees in another. This is definitely a lesson in the importance of multiple shots. When I first started taking photos, I had a very "one and done" mentality. Now, the more photos I take and the more Lightroom work I  do, the more small differences I see. I'm hopeful that's a sign I'm improving and learning.

In Full Sun (May 12, 2016)  

There was virtually no shade out there in the field so I figured it would be a good time to take my "In Full Sun" shot. It was only when I was looking at this in Lightroom that I noticed there were still shadows. Looking back now, I wonder if should have pulled back more to make the full sun more evident. I also think I need to keep an eye out for more shadows because I haven't been able to take my "Let the Shadows Tell the Story" shot. I tried doing it that day, but I couldn't seem to find a story in any of the shadows in the courtyard or yard area so on my list that shot remains.

A Street Scene (May 12, 2016)

This ended up being a long day. After the field trip and a Bad Ass Book Club meeting, I went to a local bar to see Insecure Alex and Jook the First with MC Prototype. It was a great show and I was able to take (and edit) some good shots. As we were leaving, I looked to my right while crossing the street and I couldn't help but notice how empty it was. Empty. No cars. No people. Just the street and the lights.  Now when I first started working on these shots, I thought my street scene was going to be an urban shot with lots of people and action in broad daylight. Instead, it ended up being an empty 2nd Street in Downtown Pomona a little before 11 PM. 

You can see the Antique Row sign and looking back now, it was a perfect shot to end the day. In some ways, it falls in with the theme of some of my earlier shots that day and in others, it's a juxtaposition. 

I am now right "on track" with my Project 52. It's the start of the 20th week of 2016 and I have taken 19 shots. I still don't know if I should try to take a photo a week or just keep hacking away at it the way I have been. 

Project 52: Shot 15

Your Spouse/Significant Other: How You Think of Them (sic) (April 30, 2016)

When you see my boyfriend for the first time, I know what you're thinking. The media and movies have been shaping your thinking about men who look like him for years. I hope this shot changes that.

With his dark skin and sunglasses, I am sure my boyfriend looks unfriendly. The type of person you wouldn't want in your neighborhood. The type of person you picture when listening to dedications on the Art Laboe show. The type of person Trump seems to think all Mexicans are. Look at what he's wearing though: the shirt of an alternative rock band. Now look at what he's doing: grilling barbecue chicken on an RVQ.

I think of my significant other as my opposite match. He and I have had similar experiences growing up in this country where people think they know you once they see the shade of your skin. You look at him and assume he knows Spanish; you look at me and assume I don't. I used to like dopey-looking white boys until I found this man whose background has been full of experiences both similar and opposite to mine. He has an RV (something I equate with old white men) and yet drinks the same beer that my dad does. I find that comforting. While I talk and overthink, he is quiet and thoughtful. I find that inspiring.

My significant other is a strong partner and dependable teammate. The picture indicates he is capable of feeding me, but what it doesn't show is how supportive he has been of me and all the things I've gone through during our time together, starting with my cousin's suicide the day after our first date. I've never wanted someone to take care of me: I've wanted someone strong enough to be able to take care of me if I ever needed it. Back when I was dating, my dad would tell me I was too picky; my mom, not to settle.  I am so glad I listened to my mom on this one. As a result, I found someone worthy of being with me. Someone who is as strong as I imagine myself to be. Someone whose actions show me more than words could ever tell.

Project 52: Shot 14

True Happiness (March 26, 2016)

Yes, Mexican Coke tastes like true happiness to me. No, I am not being paid to say that. Mexican Coke in a glass bottle reminds me of the time I would spend visiting my family in Mexico during the summer as a little girl. (I remember being so excited when I discovered I could buy a case of it at Costco!) This photo was taken at Mariscos Enriques, a Mexican seafood restaurant in South Ontario, and what you can't see is that a Cantinflas movie was playing on the TV in the corner--another reminder of my blissful summers in Mexico. 

Visiting Mexico as an adult isn't the same as it was when I was a child--mainly because I am now aware of some of the cultural differences which make me feel out of place at times. I remember someone once told me he could tell which kids had spent some time in the states based on how they walked. At the time, I didn't quite believe him, but now I understand what he meant. I imagine that the way I walk is one of the initial giveaways (among other things) that I'm not from down there when I visit. According to my aunt and mom, my clothes are another giveaway, but opening my mouth to speak probably removes any doubt. The self-consciousness of being an outsider now colors my experiences in Mexico these days, but true happiness was feeling I belonged anywhere I was.